01-24-2004, 05:57 PM
A Few Zen Thoughts For Those That Take Too Seriously<br /><br />Save the whales. Collect the whole set.<br /><br />A day without sunshine is like night.<br /><br />42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.<br /><br />Honk if you love peace and quiet.<br /><br />Remember, half the people you know are below average.<br /><br />He who laughs last thinks slowest.<br /><br />Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.<br /><br />The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.<br /><br />I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.<br /><br />Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.<br /><br />A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory<br /><br />Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.<br /><br />Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!<br /><br />If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.<br /><br />OK, so what's the speed of dark?<br /><br />If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.<br /><br />When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.<br /><br />Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.<br /><br />Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.<br /><br />If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?<br /><br />Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.<br /><br />Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?<br /><br />What happens if you get scared half to death twice?<br /><br />I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.<br /><br />Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?<br /><br />I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.<br /><br />I'm in shape. Round is a shape.<br /><br />I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.<br /><br />Do you think illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?<br /><br />I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.<br /><br />Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?<br /><br />Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?<br /><br />One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.<br /><br />They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.<br /><br /><br />_______________________________________________<br><br><a href="http://www.magelo.com/eq_view_profile.html?num=768984">Can Dual Wield AND carry a dozen donuts.</a><em>- <br></em><br>Give up that bitter black urine men call coffee. Ahh. Java devil, you are now my bitch.<br>--- <em><strong>The Tick<br></strong></em><br><a href="http://www.thetick.ws/wavs/lep1/comprehend.wav">Tick sound bite</a><br><br><br>